Dede, Anine, and CAKE!

I have been trying to think of how to start blog posts and I always feel really awkward in starting one. Like, suddenly I'm having a conversation with no one. I was never one to talk to myself. Even in my personal journals, I find it hard to start writing something. I feel like it needs to be a well written introduction, like as though I am writing a school paper and I need a riveting intro with a glorious thesis in order to get anyone to read beyond the first paragraph.

Some days, I am over it and I just begin. I think today I feel awkward.

Anyway, We are still here in Karaman where Ayse was Born. I don't know if most of you have read her book "The Worth of a Soul: From Muslim to Mormon", but in her book it discusses her whole life. Where she came from, how she grew up, the trials that she faced. One thing I learned was about her family. She was born to Mustafa and Fatma Kizil. Fatma and Mustafa married when Fatma was 15 and Mustafa was 26. You see, this is a very patriarchal society. Women have some say, but not much. By the time Fatma was 19, she had had 3 children. Ayse was the 2nd child of 7; 5 children are currently living. One thing as well about this society is not only are they patriarchal, but they also respect there elders. No matter who they are. For example, we have to take mini buses every where we go (They are like a small version of a large bus but they look like those vans from the 70's.. you know what I'm talking about?) and while we are on the buses, I have witnessed so many older people tell a younger person to pay for them while handing them money. The younger people respond quickly without questioning. This isn't frustrating to anyone, it is a simple form of respect in this culture. Anyway, the whole reason I am telling this because when Ayse was a little girl, her father Mustafa's older sister Turkan could not have any children so she asked him for Ayse and he just gave her to Turkan. Ayse was young enough that she did not know that she was "adopted"(not legally) and believed that Turkan and her husband Necmi were her real blood parents while she was being raised in Istanbul (13 hours away).

When she was informed at a particular time in her life that she was "adopted", it really tore her to pieces. She struggled to forgive any of her parents. I can't imagine the difficulty she must have felt. Maybe a litte betrayal, loneliness. She was angry at Fatma and Mustafa for just giving her up like she was an object, and for Turkan and Necmi not telling her the truth. She was angry for a long time. Now in her life she has forgiven all of them. Turkan and Necmi have passed on, though Fatma and Mustafa are still here. It is really cool to see how she has forgiven them and how much they love and respect her and how much she loves are respects them.

Over the years the family has bonded well and when Ayse, Ross, and John come into town, the family takes the entire time off to just be with them to express their love. Sure there isn't perfection in their relationships but they are growing and time is healing everyone. I am so grateful I get to witness such forgiveness. Ayse is incredibly kind to her lowly and poor parents and family. They just adore her!

While we have been here, there isn't any site seeing to do so we have just been spending time together by walking around the town, getting ice cream (A very rich treat to them), eating out (another treat that only happens when Ayse comes), and just spending time at Dede's (Grandpa Mustafa) and Anine's (Grandma Fatma) home. 

On one of our walks to get a dessert we passed a Mosque (they are EVERYWHERE) and saw a Gigantic Birds nest. Seriously, look at it in comparison to the size of the Mosque. Do you see it? The dark thing in the middle? (not the best description but it will have to do)

Here is it up close. It's a STORK'S Nest!!! Crazy right??? Look how HUGE that bird is! I couldn't believe it! It was very normal to them. They often laugh at what amazes me. haha I guess I am easily entertained.

We got to the restaurant where one of John's cousins work (Fatma, the younger one) and ate a delish dessert that I don't know the name of, John just calls it his balls dessert. definitely can offer a good laugh when not expecting it.

This is Mustafa on the right, the brother to Ayse, and his son Yusuf. Yusuf is 18 years old and he is awesome with trying to teach me Turkish. Still our conversations are very "Me Tarzan, You Jane" but it gets the job done. This Mustafa LOVES John. Always wants to be near him, and always tries to put his arm around John. Now that John has a mustache, Mustafa just goes wild over it and laughs and laughs cause they are the same now. haha

Starting from the left: Nebahat (The little orphan girl), Miriam (Mustafa's wife, John's Aunt), Ayse (My MIL- duh), Yusuf, and Fatma (The younger one).

After dessert, we walked back to Dede and Anine's house and played marbles. It is very cool the games that they have come up with. They're challenging too!

After some games and just hanging out, we ate dinner. Dinner served here is not like any dinner I have been too. Food is placed on a short low to the ground table with silverware and some cups and everyone, no matter how many of you there are, will sit at the table on the ground. There is a table cloth underneath the table and that is what you use as like a place to catch the dropped food or crumbs. Usually in every, and I mean EVERY turkish meal there is a salad of greens, onion, cucumber, tomato, oil and lemon. It is DELISH and also there is always fresh loaves of bread. That white stuff is not an every meal type thing, but it is common. It is a sour yogurt of sorts to cleanse the palette. Honestly, it's absolutely disgusting. haha  Anyway, so what surprised me was that no one got their "own" bowl of food. Everyone just ate out of all the bowls. It was crazy! Kind of fun to be totally immersed into the culture. I love it! And the food was really good. Healthy, for sure.

I guess while we were playing with marbles, Yusuf had made a little surprise for John and I. They can't say my name very well. At first, they wouldn't say it at all. Then once we taught them it became "SteFONie". An emphasis was placed on the FON part of my name. Well, Yusuf didn't know how I spelt my name and he made this of mine and John's name and I thought it was so sweet how he attempted to spell it! Missing a few letters in there... just a few...

Also, they loved that I had a camera and kept asking me to pull it out. So this is one of the photos taken with Mustafa, John, Me, and Miriam at Dede's and Anine's home.

Last event of the evening was a cake- which oddly enough they call "Pasta".. both make you gain weight so... I get it... haha The great part of this is that no matter what day it is, if you bring a cake to Dede's (grandpa's) house, it is ALWAYS his birthday! So we sang grandpa Happy Birthday that night with candles and the whole shebang to end the evening! It was Perfect!