Our Turkish Wedding!!!!!

How do you narrow down photos to post about after having a turkish wedding you might ask? It's simple. You don't. Well, at least I chose not to. I think there is about 60 photos that I posted on here. I am sure you are just dying to see them so I will get to it! Well, I hope you are cause as I mentioned there are 60 photos. 6-0. SIXTY... photos... seriously. so many.

To start off, I feel like I need to give a little background about what it is that you do in a turkish wedding. To be honest, I was a little unclear until it all was happening. I knew what I had to wear and where I had to be and certain details that were a "must know" but, I didn't know much else simply because I didn't speak the language and everyone, including Ayse, were so busy putting all of it together that it didn't matter what I knew cause they would tell me as it happened. I didn't mind not knowing too much because that left me in for surprises along the way!

What I knew was that, in turkey, they do weddings at night time because it is so hot. They started the wedding and arrival around 7pm. Usually, the guests of the wedding arrive to pick up the groom and escort him in a caravan of cars to the brides house, all the while honking wildly through the streets. When he arrives, they pick up the bride and she has to be given money before she can leave the house. Because the people that were coming to our party were very poor, no one really had cars to do this. So instead we got ready together and waited for our ride to appear. 

I had to wear this traditional dress (below), which was previously our cousin Daria's dress. Daria passed away a few years ago (She would have been around my age) and so it was an honor that they wanted me to wear the dress. It was a little big but I couldn't complain because first it was like I said, an honor to wear it, and second it was beautiful, and third it was free. Can't complain. Luckily, we found a friend of Ayse's who owned a dress shop and he had a gold belt that he let us borrow to make it look like it fit. Needless to say, I was happy that it worked out. Also, I wore traditional heels to with the outfit as well.

I also knew at some point I would be wearing this beautiful red veil over my head but I wasn't sure what for. I liked it. It made me feel like it completed the dress and made it really traditional!

We had made a mistake in the process of this wedding. We had completely forgotten to have John bring a nice pair of pants, a nice shirt and tie, and some nice shoes. So we improvised quickly with what Ross had brought with him to Turkey. A white shirt that was too large for John and a pair of black pants that were high waters on him. We didn't have a tie and we didn't know anyone with his size of shoe (12) so he had to wear his flip flops. Yes, it was as awful as you are imagining it. When we walked through the door, everyone made comments like "John, why are you dressed so poorly" (mind you most of these people are really poor). It made it clear how bad it really was when they said something about his outfit. We will get back to this story a little later.

My ride was John's uncle Mustafa (in the purple). He picked us up in his car and drove us (both John and I) to the wedding. The wedding was right outside Ayse's parents home in a sort of alley way. It was great that we could do it right there and not have to go any where and spend more money on a wedding that already happened a year ago! When we arrived, my aunt Hatice (Ha-tee-ja) jumped into the car before I could get out! Even though I wasn't at home, she still wanted to put the "paying me" part of it into play. It was such a surprise! She shut the door and locked it! She wouldn't let me out until someone paid up and she was demanding a large sum because she felt I was worth a high price. haha

So they paid up! And I got out of the car for about 100 turkish lira (TL). It was funny and I was not expecting that she would jump in! She was very cute and we were all laughing really hard at how quickly she jumped in and demanded money for my exit! haha

Hatice finally letting me out!

A quick photo of my cute little cousin Nebahat. She is Daria's daughter (the woman whose dress I am wearing). She got all dressed up in another traditional outfit and got her hair done with sparkles and everything! It was such a treat for her. She is an orphan girl and I am sure she felt like a princess that night.

Here are a few of the little kids that came to the wedding. Aren't they adorable. Benjamin (the little boy wearing the red plaid button up) is also one of Daria's. She had him and Nebahat. We have become pretty close with them since they live where we were staying.

Once I was out of the car, they led me into the Grandma's house. This is where the bride was to stay. The groom was to stay outside, separate from the bride. I was in a house full of women that are now my family. It was great to meet all of them. Only one girl spoke a little english, everyone else kept trying to talk with me and saying nice things (I could tell by how they would smile and get teary eyed and hug me softly). It was nice, made for a few awkward moments but all was well in the end. There was this one particular woman that I met that was Ayse's great Aunt. She was like 91 and was so sweet. Ayse was there to translate sometimes when she wasn't running around trying to take care of stuff, but she did happen to be there when I met her great aunt. I can't remember her name but she was so neat. Sat by me and told me how happy she was to have me in her family. She wanted a picture with me very badly. I think she asked like 5 times. It was sweet. So we took one together for her and I was glad that we had. A little while later while we were still sitting next to each other, she started to weep really hard. She began telling me that her husband had passed away 9 months ago and this wedding reminded her of him and it made her sad. Not sad like it was depressing, but rather it was sweet to see her miss him and still love him after all their years of marriage. I did my best to comfort her by putting my arms around her while she kissed my neck and wiped her tears. We didn't have the ability to communicate with language but we communicated with through our actions. I hope this isn't the last time I will meet her.

Here were some of the women that I sat with throughout the evening. The one of the right with the red headdress would not stop staring at me. I couldn't decide whether or not I should stare back or just smile and try and forget she was staring. haha She was very sweet and I wish I could have spoken turkish to get to know every single one of them.

Here is John with his parents on our second wedding day. haha After this, he was uncomfortable enough with everyone commenting that he and Ayse took off to see what they could do last minute to his outfit. I was a little nervous since she was my translator and he was one of the main people I spoke with, but luckily I had Ross to keep me company. Ross was the wedding photographer for the evening and I have to say, he did a pretty good job for never having done something like this! I was very excited by his willingness and grateful for him for the photos!

Here is grandma...

While we waited, I got to know a few of the girl cousins my age. They didn't know any english other then "how are you", "yes", "no", "ok"... literally, they didn't know anything else. But we improvised with actions and words. Luckily, I am picking up on some turkish, enough to understand but not enough to speak really. What I could understand from one of them was her telling me about her daughter that she had with her and she named her Ayse Gul. So I told her about how Benjamin and Nebahat couldn't say Stephanie at first and so they collaboratively decided I would be name Ayse Gul. This cousin got so excited that she wanted a photo of me and her 11 month old little girl together. She was just adorable. And actually was really fair skinned with light hair more than a normal turkish person. She was beautiful and she was obsessed with the little beads all over my dress. She kept trying to eat them and pick at them. We became good friends, she and I.

My other two cousins Yusif (on left) and Yunis (on right) came and hung out with me for a little while. They are wearing turkish flags around their necks if you can see them. These let guests at the party know who is the close family to the bride and groom. They are very sweet boys. Both about 18 years old.

Since I couldn't be outside I was glad Ross got some of these photos of people eating and what it was like outside. The men ate their food separately than the women. Here is a photo of this.

Here is all the women eating their food under the grapes infront of grandma and grandpa's home. I was inside and was able to come out onto the balcony on the right for a little bit to say hi to people. I had to stay inside due to tradition.

Grandpa. I love this man. Look at that face. He is sooooo happy. And was SOOO happy that we celebrated our wedding with them, turkish style!

After about 30-45 minutes, I was wandering around, a little unsure of where I was to go and what I was supposed to be doing. I found that I was able to help out a little bit with my aunt and helping her put on her beautiful dress and help one of my new cousins. It was an interesting experience because the cousin that I helped wears a headdress and is covered head to toe with clothing, but she had to take off her headdress and scarf to change and I was able to see her without it all. She was so beautiful with and without the headdress but, it was very interesting to see her without it. I wondered what it would be like to live like that, having to always wear a headdress. It must be hard.. or not because she is used to it. Well, I am glad I don't have to wear them. Anyway, after I helped her, my other cousin Fatma found me and she was pulling me to the door where Ayse walked in. Ayse had this glow in her eyes and she said "you will not believe what we did for John!"... soon after John walked in and looked like a new man! He found everything to fit him! Shoes, pants, shirt!! He is taller than almost every turkish person so this was a great find! He looked soooo handsome! He was much happier and more comfortable than before. It surprised me because he told me that the people at the store hemmed and ironed his pants and shirt for him while they were there. They took such good care of him and it took only about 20 minutes! So great! Look at him!

They then separated us again and took John outside and left me inside. John sat outside with all the men while they danced and talked with him, etc... He had to wear this green scarf to show that he was the groom.

They had a live band/ DJ come and do the music and entertainment.

Here are the men dancing (with a few little kids that weren't supposed to be there but whatever)...

Here is the band and the main guy on the left.

More dancing... I am still inside with some of the women at this point..

Some of the other women were outside still. They had pushed aside the food tables and had begun dancing as well! You can see Ayse dancing too in this photo.

Hatice in her really nice dress. She looked so good and I was happy for her! She normally is taking care of the two children of her daughter Daria and doesn't have time to get ready too well (or doesn't take the time) but she went and got her hair and make up done and she looked great! I was going to go get my hair and make up done but I was worried that because my hair (thin, potentially brittle from bleach) is so different than theirs (thick, mostly undyed) that they might ruin my hair. Turns out it was a good decision on my part because they left the curling iron on too long on Hatices hair and it burned it so they had to rewash it and start over.. and other stuff went down and so it was a good thing I didn't go! haha But she turned out looking great!

Here are some of the late comers eating dinner...

Me and my new Aunt Miriam...

 Grandma and I.

Me and a few of the girl cousins my age...

Ayse and I...

It was finally time for me to come out of the house and join the rest of the guests! This is where the veil came in! They cover my head so that I am a surprise to John for the first time. My young girl cousins are the ones that ushered me down. It is tradition that the young do it and not the older women.

They ushered me into a flurry of fire works! (Tradition) and that is where they give me away to my husband.

My husband was to then lift the veil from my face and kiss my forehead in approval.

Then we immediately began to have our first dance (actually our second first dance... cause we're already married.. get it?? hah dumb joke, I know but I couldn't resist!)...

And everyone joined in...

Throughout the night, while we were dancing, grandpa (on the right with green hat) would throw small change into the air and the little kids would go running to find the coins! In this photo you can see the kids trying to pick up all of the coins! It was cute and brought grandpa happiness to do this for them. They all wanted ice cream with their money!

Then it was dancing, dancing, dancing! Traditionally, turkish people dance with their arms up in the air and while they snap their fingers to the beat  of the music. Their feet basically do a two-step type move.  This is how we danced all night! And to really really REALLY LOUD traditional turkish music. Here we are with grandpa dancing. Bytheway, John doesn't dance. Not even kind of... this was a big deal for him to do this wedding because we were practically forced (through tradition) to dance all night! It was so much dancing and snapping that our middle finger tips became raw. haha

Grandma dancing...

This is a REALLY LOUD DRUM that a guy would walk around with and play through the crowd of people dancing to the music. In this photo, my cousin Yunis took it and played it for everyone.

This was what the scarf that John wore looked like... it has the Turkish flag symbol of the moon and star on it..

After some dancing, they sat us down in the middle of the road ( dance floor) and covered my head again. We waited while they got candles and henna ready.

Here I learned John and I can't cross our legs because we would be showing our elders the bottom of feet and that is extremely disrespectful.

The women finally came out with candles lit and they began singing and dancing to a particular song. While doing this, they formed a circle around us and walked and sang in a circle with their candles.

Even though it is blurry, I love John's facial expression! He was loving it! haha

Inside that bowl of candles on the right is the Henna..

By tradition, we had to clench our fists tight until someone paid money to me to open them.

They finally paid and after they did, they began placing a thick layer of henna in my hand. And as they were putting it in my hand, they wished upon John and I that we would have lots and lots of children!

Afterwards, with the henna in my hand still, they tied a glove to my hand that matched my veil and put a red flower bracelet with it.

Did the same to John but with a green glove and a white flower.

After I took my veil off, I was supposed to be crying because I was sad to leave my family. This has been a tradition for a long time, but now it seems that it is just a joke and so they tell you to fake cry... this was the best I could muster.

Here we are!! The newly weds! (sort of.. haha) They didn't do the entire ceremony since we have already been married previously.

Then more dancing! haha

They had me and John take turns dancing around each other while the guy beat the drum. It was fun!

Then the polis (police) showed up! They wanted to make sure we didn't have any bombs or firearms. Really? I was surprised they weren't upset over how loud it was, but they were more concerned that we would have bombs? I'm not sure, but do people usually have bombs at a wedding?? haha

Here is a better picture of what are hands looked like with henna and the gloves.

Then after dancing and stuff, they put ribbon around our necks and began pinning money and gold coins to us! This is like the money dance, but instead of a dance we just stood there and waited for people to bring money and put on us.

Our loot after!

The gold coins! Cool right??

The same man that helped dress John so quickly came to our wedding and brought this as a gift for us! It was so sweet of him after all he did for us!

One last photo of us at the end of the wedding!

What our henna turned out to look like. I was expecting a little more designs and detail but this works. haha

The wedding was a fantastic experience. It happened the day before our real wedding anniversary and it was such a sweet experience getting married "again" to each other. It reminded us both why we chose each other in the first place and made us even more grateful to realize that we are more happy than we have ever been. I am so glad we got to do this!